..:I am the way:..

1:40AM - Nothing of interest

I'm going to start taking, and studying Muay Thai. For those who have no fucking clue as to what Muay Thai is, it is Thai kick boxing. I have always wanted to do some kind of martial art, and I saw a tv special about muay thai bare knuckle fights and have since decided that that is the one for me. As luck would have it there is a place right here in Camas that teaches it. Its gonna rule.
~~~~~~
X-mas time is coming, and once again I get to "cellibrate" the birth of the son of god I don't believe in. Hoping to get an American Staffordshire Terrier, and name it Buddah, or a new guitar, and new shoes.
~~~~~~
Vancouver has too much tae kwan do... FUCK TAE KWAN DO!

Current mood: horny

Current music: Greyskull

10:35PM - Here's what's new

So I haven't updated this piece of shit in a while. I have been kind of busy, playing in a band I didn't like, playing shows with Six Bullets, Practicing, etc... All the usual shit in my life.
~~~~~~
Six Bullets begins recording on friday! New shit rules. We are working on new shirts too. The art for the cd is getting drawn by an artist who draws for MARVEL COMICS! The new ep is called "Rally the dissidents." Be on the lookout.
~~~~~~
Currently listening to:
Most Precious Blood
XmaroonX
Full Blown Chaos
Misery Index
~~~~~~
I have been hanging out with my lovely Shayla a lot lately. We hungout like everyday during the week of NWfest(which was awesome by the way). Shayla and I camped out in a tent in the middle of the Grange. It was fun.
~~~~~~
Played with Blood Stands Still, Where Eagles Dare, & Life in Pictures twice the week before NWFest, fun fun fun.
~~~~~~
I think that's it. Here are some of my favorite lyrics as of late:

My epitaph shall say "And come what may"
With a grain of salt I walked away
Commit the past into blue flame
they're not crying. I'm not crying
We found you hiding . We found you lying.
Unfazed, Unchanged
Tomorrows too late
In to Blue Flame
Tomorrows too late
With a grain of salt I waled away
With my eyes closed to the fray
The walls are on fire. Theres no turing back
An empty shell, from heaven I fell
With a grain of salt walked away
commit the past into blue flame
there not crying. I'm not crying
We found you hiding, we found you hiding
And come what may
No matter what may come
and come what may
What's done is done.
"Come what may" by Most Precious Blood

This foundation of my existence
A lifetime commitment to self domination
The oath that lasts forever... FOREVER!
An oath that keeps me free from their hypocrisy
A commitment for life
A commitment for life, vegan
A commitment for life, Straight Edge
My heart is dedicated
To this promise of inner strength
Still believing in what has fallen apart
I STILL BELIEVE...
A commitment for life
A commitment for life, vegan
A commitment for life, Straight Edge
"Still Believe in what has Fallen Apart" by XmaroonX
~~~~~~



Love,
Xjake sunshineX

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Most Preciou Blood

10:40PM - tour, petty theft, and titties

So tour was pretty fun. I have been home for about 5-6 days now but I am just at this moment updating my journal. Cali sucked. Bad shows, shitty kids, and little to no money. There are only a few parts of cali I like. I like Laguna beach, its very yuppie, very clean, and there is a dirty underbelly thay you can feel in the air. Almost all of california has this underbelly. I like that part of it. Vegas sucked. I called Shayla from vegas, and for the rest of the tour thought about her maybe too much. AZ was amazing. We plaid with shitty bands (Bury your Dead, Suffocate Faster, and some aussie band who's name I can't remember. I think is was control denied, anyway). I love the AZ I would move there. I like the atmosphere that the AZ possesses, and the killer bugs. Utah was cool. We didn't go to Utah on the bullets tour. The kids there were cool, and the show had a pretty good turn out. Utah has many pretty girls too and that is always a plus. Idaho was awesome. The show was out side and that equaled lots of fucking nasty mosquito bites, but fun nonetheless. More pretty girls. Then we came home for a night went to olympia bobby got caught "shoplifting" when it was really more of a taste test. Justin had to bail him out. The show in Longview got canceled after we drove there. I didn't mind at all.
~~~~~~
I shoplifted many things on tour earning me the most punk points. I got some free pizza, Ice cream, a 55oz icy, candy bars, power ade while bobby was getting caught I was walking outside with my refreshing Green Squall). It was good times, and I had never shoplifted before, it was really quite liberating.
~~~~~~
I am glad to be home. Sitting here typing still missing shayla, knowing that tonight I'll be able to go upstairs to my room and do what ever I want without other eyes and breath on me at all times. I love tour, but I also love being home.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Unearth

10:38PM - A long quiz I stole it from seth

// LAYER ONE \\
// what is your full name?: Jake Phillip Newport (sunshine)
// nicknames?: Sunshine, Verno
// where do you live?: Washougal WA
// Sex or ice cream? SEX SEX SEX
// What color underwear are you wearing right now?: Blue
// What was the last thing you did?: Take a poo
// What is right next to you?: A broken chair and a fat little brother.
// Who was the last person you ate out with?: The Dead Unknown
// If you were a toy what would you be?: A big dildo
// Where do you want to go on your hunnymoon?: Couldn't tell ya
// Who do you want to spend the rest of your life wih?: Someone who means more to me than anything else in this world.
// How many buddies do you have on your list?: 11
// Hows the weather right now?: Rain
// Last person you spoke to on the phone?: Shayla
// What's your ringtone?: Don't have one of them new fangled ringer tone machines o the devil
// what do you think a toblerone is?: A big long piece of sectioned chocolate

** LAYER TWO ***
*AGE?: 19
**HAIR? brown
***WHAT R U WEARING RIGHT NOW? shorts, shoes, and a fuck you hippie shirt
****DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no I do not
*****WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU ATTEND: I don't
****WHO DO CONSIDER YOUR CLOSEST/BESTEST FRIENDS?: I always hate this question, and I never answer it, so I don't think I'll break habbit now.
***WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU?: I create my own advice
***DO U OWN A VEHICLE?: no
**HAVE YOU EVER WON A SPECIAL AWARD?: no
*WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?: get a drivers license, get a job, get married but not married (because traditional marriage isn't for me), tour tour tour...

;; LAYER THREE;;
FAVE FOOD;; Mexican, Chinese, Italian
FAVE FILM;; too many to name
LAST FILM YOU SAW AT CINEMA;; Manchurian Candidate
FAVE DAY OF THE YEAR;; Every day if its a good day
DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE;; yup
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT;; yup
DO YOU SLEEP NAKED;; is there any other way?
WHAT IS THE MOST STUPID THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE;; Lol too may to remember
DO YOU LIKE SCARY OR HAPPY MOVIES;; both
CHRISTMAS OR EASTER;; there for the birds


++LAYER FOUR++
LUST OR LOVE++ Both, what is one with out the other?
KISSES OR HUGS++ Both
COLOUR ARE YOUR PAJAMAS++ Naked remember???
WHAT COLOUR'S YOUR TOOTHBRUSH++ Blue and white, and its the best tooth brush I have ever owned
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SURVEY++ Meh...
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD++ Lonelyness
WORST SOUND++ someone taking an exploding shit while you are in the room
WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP++ I can't say
ROLLER COASTER, SCARY OR EXCITING++ Meh...
HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT++ as many times as it takes to show up on the caller id


[[ LAYER FIVE ]]
[[ MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE ]] There are lots: Jim Morrison, Friedrich Nietzsche, Orwell, Che, Hitler, Stalin, Churchill, Jefferson, Socrates. Those are just a few...
[[ ZODIAC SIGN ]] Cancer
[[ IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE ]] fuck jobs
[[ IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL ]] Both (can you say deep)
[[ WHATS YOUR FAVE NUMBER ]] don't have one

[[ FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT ON GUYS ]]
[[ BOXERS OR Y FRONTS ]]
[[ DARK OR FAIR ]]
[[ TALL OR SMALL ]]
[[ SIX PACK OR NICE ASS ]]
[[ DOES SIZE MATTER ]]

(FOR BOTH TO FILL IN)
[[ MOST IMPORTANT PHYSICAL FEATURE ]] there isn't one "most important" feature. Eyes areimportant, nose is important, lips are important, breasts are important, everything is important.
[[ MOST IMPORTANT NON-PSYCHICAL FEATURE ]] Everything again.


&& LAYER SIX&&
&&CHOCOLATE, WHITE OR MILK? Soy milk please
&&ROOT BEER OR DOCTOR PEPPER : Dr. P sucka phish
&&MUD OR JELLY WRESTLING? meh...
&&SKIING OR BOARDING?: fuck them both
&&DAY OR NIGHT? night
&&SUMMER OR WINTER?
&&CAKE OR PIE? both
&&SILVER OR GOLD?? neither
&&DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? fuck em
&&SUNRISE OR SUNSET?: both
&&HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BOne?: nope
&&DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING? if its for a justified reason then yes
&&WHAT DO YOU DREAM ABOUT? People, sex, death, whatever...
&&DO YOU HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON SOMEONE RIGHT NOW!: Of curse I always do
&&WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR ADVICE: Myself
&&WHO'S THE FIRST TO ASK IN COLLEGE/WORK IF YOU'RE ALRIGHT: no one fuck them
&&YOU COULD HAVE 1 SKILL IN LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE?: social skills, especially when applied to girls
&&WHERE IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP?: Anywhere with things that I like

- T h e E x t r a S t u f f - -
WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?: Never being loved, dying, never being truly at peace with myself.
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RiGHT NOW?: Unearth
DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: yes but no

- - F a v o r i t e s - -
COLOUR: Black like my soul just fucking with ya no favorites I just enjoy collour
CD or TAPE?: I can't even start to begin.
ANIMALS?: pit bulls

- - HAVE YOU EVER - -
GIVEN SOMEONE A BATH: only in dreams
BROKEN THE LAW??: of course
GONE SKINNY DIPPING? nope

FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND:
GRASS: green
ZEBRA: bad strippers
SOCKS: white
DUMB: thug
HOUSE: masturbation
BOB: bitch tits
FISH: Phish
SPACE: Stars
HUG: the one and only person I ejoy hugging, who shall remain nameless.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Unearth

9:44PM - Peacin the fuck out

So I'm leavin on tuesday, thought it was going to be wedensday, but tuesday works too. Gots to give a shout out to Seth for letting me brrow his METALZONE, it sounds great, thanks a lot brah.
~~~~~~
We are playing with Bury your Dead, and Burnt by the Sun in the AZ. LOL. FUCK BURY YOUR DEAD!!!
~~~~~~
Were going to hit up the bunny ranch in Nevada. Crack Whores = good times.
~~~~~~
I'm excited.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: LoG

1:22AM - We live for the day the only way done

So I leave again for the big open road on wednesday. I am filling in for the Dead Unknown. I hear Cali calling my name. I honestly don't like california much, but I amexcited to be back there. Arizona, Vegas, I can't wait to be back there. As excited as I am I would much rather be there under different circumstances, and with people unmentioned. But that will happen later and for now I am content with my forth coming trip. I'm heading out for two weeks with 100 bucks, I can't wait.
~~~~~~
When I get back I need to start my life. I am sick of waking up sometimes from a dream and feeling like the dream is better than what I wake to. When it feels as though I have never really lived a day in my life. I'm going to start going to school in the fall, don't know what I'll take yet probably just some lame ass manditory classes or something. I'm thinking learning something medical so I can do easy work, and make lots of money, then I can fund all sorts of projects. I want to get paid lots so I can live below my means.
~~~~~~
What does one do when what they truly want in life is completely unrealistic? I don't know either but if I ever figure it out I'll be sure to tell you.

Current mood: nostalgic

Current music: Dead Prez in my head

3:04AM - Indianapolis IN

Total Liberation was an amazing experience. I loved the experience, and I think I learned a lot from it. I learned more about anarchy from brian, the former singer of catharsis, we went to the CrimeThinc. warehouse, we got lots of free literature, and bought good music. Good times.
~~~~~~
I have been putting some thought into going vegan after meeting the people I met on total lib. I just can't see how I am supposed to be a true anti-capitalist, pro earth/human liberationist if I am supporting an industry that causes suffering on millions of beings every day.
~~~~~~
I got my CrimeThinc. order of 100 copies of Fighting for our lives in the mail today. They also sent me some other stuff too, mostly literature I already have, but also some stickers and posters I didn't have.

2:49AM - Goals

So I don't want to sound like a big dick, but I fucking hate indie kids. Tonight Adam and I go to the Wrangler Brutes show (they are a punk band)and its at this weird "art" gallery. Now I don't at all mind "art,"and in fact I am a fan of lots of art, and in some ways consider myself an artist. The "art" at this place sucked but that is besides the point. Anyway while we were there-we waited for a good hour and a half before we were informed that the band we were there to see weren't playing until 11 I guess telling people things like that isn't "art"-All these ugly smelly indie kids were looking at us like we were lepers because we had camo shorts on insted of girl high water capri's on, and band t-shirts on instead of faded "ironic" motorcycle value village shirts. I swear I about lost it with the fucking sneers they kept giving us. Anyway we left and came back later, and for some reason they all had beer. I don't know where they were getting it but they were all drunk as fuck. I saw one kid in there who couldn't be over 17 and he had a PBR in his hand dancing like a fool. I got side tracked, anyway I fucking hate stuck up indie kids. They listen to shitty music, wear dumb clothes, and have bad hair, and they smell like bo. I don't want to say all indie kids suck as much ass as these kids did but these kids sucked hard. And so did all the bands. I guess noise is "art" now a days. And mullets that is "art" too.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Type O Negitive

12:12AM - Sexual Encounters of the Third Kind

So I have the house all to myself basically all next week, so who wants to come over and have sex??? Or maybe just hang out without my penis getting involved??? I shaved the nether regions today and man it feels good getting rid of that shit after such a long time. I am so lazy. I don't know why I let it go so long, it just makes it harder to maintain. Oh well everything is as it should be now.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Rammstein

9:27PM - I question time and reality the same as I would question the existence of Jesus

Looks like I am filling in on guitar for the dead unknown on their upcoming tour. I'm pretty excited.
~~~~~~
I wanted to hang out with shayla today because it is her birth day but alas. I wish I was better at thinking of things to do.I wish could go get a tattoo tomorrow, once again alas. I am to see how hers turns out though.
~~~~~~
My fourth of July consisted of my friends and I throwing pop-its at each other, and watching bobby get his tattoo finished.
~~~~~~
Sometimes I gt so down on life, but it seems as though as soon as that feeling comes it is gone and I find something to be excited about.
~~~~~~
I really want to move out of my house.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: the Dead Unknown

9:46PM - Diabolical Masturbation Techniques

Tomorrow I have to play a show I really don't want to play. I suppose it will be cool to see undying, and hang with the dead unknown again. But really I just want Rapid Fire to be done with.
~~~~~~
I just got back from spider man 2. If you are like me and liked the first one then you will probably like the second one too, if not then your just shit out of luck I guess.
~~~~~~
Sometimes I really suck. I watched the BarnFest video yesterday and I looked so damn fat. Massive blow to my ego. I'm wondering which would be more efficient anorexia, or bulimia. Probably anorexia. I'm just playing of course but still I was bummed looked so fat.
~~~~~~
For the last few weeks I have been going through mad cuddle with drawls, it sucks. I'm willing to bet its worse than heroine. Well, maybe not. Nonetheless I miss cuddleing. I think I'll blame spider man 2 for that one. Sorry for this brief bit of sap.
~~~~~~
Moving on...
~~~~~~
I loved Fahrenheit 9/11. That movie is awesome. To top it off the right wing media is so freaked out about it. They know how powerful of a film it is for those watching it, and that's why there pissed about it. Thanks Again Mr. Moore for another great film.
~~~~~~
If you believe in a "liberal media bias" don't talk to me.
~~~~~~
Public Enemy slays brah!

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Cradle of Filth

2:07PM - the shape of things to come

So I haven't considered myself a Dashboard Confessional fan for a long while now, but my brother bought the newest cd and so I decided what the hell give it a spin. Was I amazed and surprised by what I heard? Absolutely not! Seriously this is probably one of the worst recordings I have heard in like the last two years. In fact it is exactly what I was expecting. Do not listen to this record for it will haunt you dreams with visions of little boys, and by little boys I mean at least 25, crying about the horrors of high school girl problems. All I can say for EVERY band that still sings about that shit, unless you like 17 years old, then shut the fuck up and get over it. The hopeless romantic thing is played out, please realize this.
~~~~~~

Current mood: contemplative

12:28AM - Flip dem switches

I take my drive test tomorrow, I hope I pass. I think I will.
~~~~~~
I want to go see Farenheit 9/11 tomorrow. That movie will kick ass. I love michael moore fuck what the bushy fascists say.
~~~~~~
Hopefully I get to see shayla again tomorrow. I miss her already, I hope we can do something.
~~~~~~
BarnFest 2(004) is going to kick ass. I have lots of shit to talk about, good times.
~~~~~~
Fuck fake hardcore!

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Mobb Deep

11:48PM - An ode to sticks

I have been in battle ground for the last three days having band practice. I know all the songs now.
~~~~~~
It will be interesting to see how 6 bullets does because we haven't practiced in a longtime. But I think we all know the songs almost well enough. I hope my voice doesn't suck.
~~~~~~
BarnFest is probably going to be recorded and I have mad shit to say so it will be fun.
~~~~~~
I had a good day today.

Current mood: happy

Current music: Tristania

11:02PM - Getting to know me

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Current mood: contemplative

2:14AM - With more guitar

I might soon be in possession of up to three tickets for Kiss and Poison, the question is if I get them-for free mind you-Who wants to go with me??? VIP Box seats free food and drinks.
~~~~~~
Every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. Every rose has its thorn.
~~~~~~
OrderoftheWurm practice was fun. I wrote three possible new songs today, ad a fourth one is one the way.
~~~~~~
I wrote a mini essay last night that I am going to use for 6 bullets lyrics sometime. Werd.
~~~~~~
I am in love with Catharsis. They are definately on of the more interesting bands I have heard lately. Sample lyrics:
One by one like the stars from the sky they fell
And everyone turned their backs, wondering to themselves
"I'm on a strange journey I did not choose to take
Where am I going I don't want to think"
But no one tried to put on the breaks at all
~~~~~~
I went and took my "written" test today at the DMV. I fucking hate that place. I made my drive test appointment. I also went to my first job interview today, it sucked ass. I waited for three hours or more before my name was called. There were two funny rednecks there though.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Catharsis - The Witch's Heart

1:40AM - !FUCKING EXCITED!

DEAD PREZ is playing TOTAL LIBERATION FEST. I might be playing Total Liberation Fest! Jake is about to blow a big load in his pants. Weather I play or not I don't care because Dead Prez is one of my favorite groups ever! And I'm going no matter what!
also appearing:
Undying
XMoroonX
XRisenX
M-1 of dead prez is going to speak
and many more bands an speakers fuck this is going to rule.
~~~~~~
Here is a short list of music everyone should be listening to:
Dead Prez
the Swarm
Haymaker
Chokehold
Cursed
Left for Dead
Catharsis
Assuck
From Ashes Rise

Current mood: excited

Current music: Catharsis

9:38PM - times past

I remember the first time a girl touched my penis.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Pink Floyd

9:22PM - And then the marmots attacked!

So today I ran into Emily. That's right the very same Emily who held my fancy in school. She works at Nordstrom's now. I was thinking about her a few days ago, and then out of nowhere I see her, it was awesome. She is so so pretty. She came up and gave me a hug too which was unexpected, but pleasant nonetheless. We chatted for a while but she had to get back to work, damn you capitalism for ruining my game. Now I just need to go back there and get her number, and maybe we can hang sometime, that would be rad.
~~~~~~
I also sw Asha today while my brother was buying shoes. She was so pretty today, her hair was done in pig tails, and dirty thoughts entered my mind. That girl is so beautiful. Insane.
~~~~~~
Most of the girls I know are really pretty, cool girls, that's awesome. Now if only one of them will go out with me. Its kind of strange knowing three girls you would love to be with. Oh well, I guess that's how its always been.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Hatebreed

11:31PM - Why is everybody in such a fucking rush?

Had a weird dream last night, involving Will Shatner. Yeah.
~~~~~~
Rediscovered Combat Wounded Veteran, that band is awesome.
~~~~~~
Making my drive test apt. on saturday.
~~~~~~
Going to a job fair on the 17th. I'm not sure how this sits with me because anything with the word fair in the name makes me uneasy.
~~~~~~
I'm in a snuggle/make out mood again.
~~~~~~
Portland local music usually sucks ass. I think there are three local bands I like.
~~~~~~
BARNFRST on the 26th bitches.
~~~~~~
I need to systematically murder all the guys in dear whoever, and eliminate all competition.
~~~~~~
I want to go find some one to hit the courts with me and get married. Have sex then divorce. No wait I don't believe in marriage so fuck that.
~~~~~~
On second thought I'll just go for a cuddle.
~~~~~~
for the record this post has nothing to do with anything except killing time because I am bored out of my mind.
~~~~~~
Jesse just asked me what was happenin.
~~~~~~
Shaved my balls today. Good times.
~~~~~~
Worked out again, as usual.
~~~~~~
Fuck the Atkins diet.
~~~~~~
Fuck Greasers. I hate all that "retro" 50's throw back crap!
~~~~~~
But I like the music.
~~~~~~
Haymaker rules.
~~~~~~
Fin.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: Minor Threat